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Humpty Bumpty
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Ich weiss ja nicht wie es den DHL-Boten beim Übergang in den Ruhestand geht aber bei den Amis .....
„George the Mailman’s Last Day“
It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausages, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.
„All this was just too wonderful for words,“ he said, „but what’s the dollar for?“
„Well,“ she said, „last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.“
He said, „Fuck him. Give him a dollar.“ „The breakfast was my idea.“
„George the Mailman’s Last Day“
It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausages, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.
„All this was just too wonderful for words,“ he said, „but what’s the dollar for?“
„Well,“ she said, „last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.“
He said, „Fuck him. Give him a dollar.“ „The breakfast was my idea.“
Chuck
MusicMan
Chuck
MusicMan
Chuck
MusicMan
Humpty Bumpty
Spätberufener
- Beiträge
- 53
- Bassix
- ß3.627
Also erstmal was zum üben :
ENGLISCH FÜR ANFÄNGER:
(for beginners)
Drei Hexen schauen
sich drei Swatch Uhren an
Welche Hexe schaut
welche Swatch Uhr an?
Three witches
watch three Swatch watches.
Which witch watches which
Swatch watch?
Jetzt mal für
FORTGESCHRITTENE:
(advanced english)
Drei geschlechtsumgewandelte
Hexen schauen sich drei Swatch
Uhrenknöpfe an.
Welche geschlechtsumgewandelte
Hexe schaut sich welchen Swatch
Uhrenknopf an?
Das Ganze wieder in Englisch!
Three switched witches
watch three Swatch watch switches.
Which switched Witch watches which
Swatch watch switch?
Und jetzt mal einen Zacken zulegen
(for professionals)
Drei Schweizer Hexen-Schlampen,
die sich wünschen, geschlechtsum-
gewandelt zu sein, wünschen sich,
Schweizer Swatch Uhrenknöpfe anzuschauen.
Welche Schweizer Hexen-Schlampe,
die sich wünscht, geschlechtsumgewandelt zu sein, wünscht sich,
welche Schweizer Uhrenköpfe anzusehen.
das Ganze in Englisch:
Three swiss witch—bitches,
which wished to be switched swiss
witch-bitches, wish to watch three
swiss Swatch watch switches.
Which swiss witch-bitch, which
wishes to be a switched swiss
Witch-bitch, wishes to watch which
swiss Swatch watch switch?
ENGLISCH FÜR ANFÄNGER:
(for beginners)
Drei Hexen schauen
sich drei Swatch Uhren an
Welche Hexe schaut
welche Swatch Uhr an?
Three witches
watch three Swatch watches.
Which witch watches which
Swatch watch?
Jetzt mal für
FORTGESCHRITTENE:
(advanced english)
Drei geschlechtsumgewandelte
Hexen schauen sich drei Swatch
Uhrenknöpfe an.
Welche geschlechtsumgewandelte
Hexe schaut sich welchen Swatch
Uhrenknopf an?
Das Ganze wieder in Englisch!
Three switched witches
watch three Swatch watch switches.
Which switched Witch watches which
Swatch watch switch?
Und jetzt mal einen Zacken zulegen
(for professionals)
Drei Schweizer Hexen-Schlampen,
die sich wünschen, geschlechtsum-
gewandelt zu sein, wünschen sich,
Schweizer Swatch Uhrenknöpfe anzuschauen.
Welche Schweizer Hexen-Schlampe,
die sich wünscht, geschlechtsumgewandelt zu sein, wünscht sich,
welche Schweizer Uhrenköpfe anzusehen.
das Ganze in Englisch:
Three swiss witch—bitches,
which wished to be switched swiss
witch-bitches, wish to watch three
swiss Swatch watch switches.
Which swiss witch-bitch, which
wishes to be a switched swiss
Witch-bitch, wishes to watch which
swiss Swatch watch switch?
Humpty Bumpty
Spätberufener
- Beiträge
- 53
- Bassix
- ß3.627
So, und weil das ja jetzt prima klappt, kommt jetzt noch der Witz:
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em torturing this young lady. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear.
As I walked up to the leader, the KKK Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turn around and yell to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'
St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? When did this happen?" "Oh, about ten minutes ago."
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em torturing this young lady. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear.
As I walked up to the leader, the KKK Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turn around and yell to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'
St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? When did this happen?" "Oh, about ten minutes ago."
G
Gast20213
Guest
Ich will hier niemanden anprangern.
Aber diese Typen, die uns jedes Jahr dieses Scheiß-Gedudel einbrocken, haben es nicht anders verdient.
https://www.facebook.com/public/Lars-Krismes
Aber diese Typen, die uns jedes Jahr dieses Scheiß-Gedudel einbrocken, haben es nicht anders verdient.
https://www.facebook.com/public/Lars-Krismes
Ray Mahogany
Come as u are!
...und welchen von denen meinste nun im Speziellen?
G
Gast75378
Guest
Weihnachten fällt dieses Jahr leider aus...
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